Alex Ovechkin’s Overtime Goal, As Told By Charlie Sheen

Posted on: March 2, 2011 by   Share

I'm not "Aw, shucks." Because I'm gnarly.

 

Alex Ovechkin scored a pretty nifty little overtime goal yesterday against the New York Islanders (I took some photos if you didn’t know). Over the past few days, a guy named Charlie Sheen has been in tv saying some things that have a voice of their own. Somehow, in the spirit of CapitaLOLs, there seemed like a natural fit.

 

I'm rolling out the magic, bro. I dare you to keep up with me Your perimeter's been breached. You got work to do, bro. You've been warned, dude. Bring it. Got to dismiss these clowns. I've got three words for him: Am. A. Teur. You should have read the directions before you showed up at the party I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world. Surprise. That's what winners do. Here's your cold coffee. Buh-bye. The scoreboard doesn't lie. Never Has. What's not to love? Celebrate this movement. Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it that way. I wasn't even trying. I wasn't even warm. I guess I'm just that goddamn bitchin'. I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total, bitchin' rock star from Mars. Most of the time, and this includes naps, I'm an F-18. I'm not, Bring me a challenge. Winning. Every day. Come over here and enjoy the ride, bro. We're starting to win. Let's hook up and just bring fiery death. They couldn't extinguish my pilot light. And it was a mistake. If you're party of my family, I will love you violently. I closed my eyes, and in a nanosecond I cured myself. I don't know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Everything. Next question. I just want to hug him and rub his head. That's the code. And we all live by it. There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins. You've been given magic. You've been given gold.

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2 Responses to Alex Ovechkin’s Overtime Goal, As Told By Charlie Sheen

  1. Justin

    Dude, hilarious!

    Reply
    Posted on March 3, 2011

  2. Pingback: Brouwer Brings It and Ovie Rolls Out More Magic | Clydeorama.com

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